Once in a while we have a little chat with someone with a special job, an inspiring life, a remarkable character or an out of the box vision.
This time we spoke with Regina Romeijn, mother of Bardot Yavuz (2 years old)
What about her?
Mother of: Bardot Yavuz (2 years old)
Business: Full time business consultant
What’s keeping your head up during Momma-Hood?
My spare moments with my daughter. I love the freetime I have and I spend it all on her. During the week I go out after she is in bed. And in the weekend I go to the gym when she has her daily nap. I love to take her to the theater, or little gym. Walk in the woods or on the beach. Or just have a stroll to the playground in the park.
What’s made you (almost) crazy?
The sleepless nights. The first year and a half she would wake up almost every night, multiple times. I thought I was losing it. After nine months I refused to get up. My body couldn't anymore. Then my boyfriend stepped in. We are terrible at leaving her, or letting her cry for a bit. So with every squeak we are at the side of her bed. That doesn't help either.After a year and a half it got better. Now it is just a few nights per week that she has a nightmare or something.
What / who brings the fun?
My daughter brings the fun. She is a very cheerful child. Loves to cuddle and dance. So we turn the music up regularly and make funny dances. She can't stop laughing when we do. She tries to sing along with songs she hears on the radio and is very telling. So everyday I get a detailed report of her activities of the day. Including who she has hit and if she has been sweet or not.
What’s the story your baby should not hear when he/she is a teenager?
I don't want her to think about adult stress. Money, pressure, weight. I think she should stay free of those burdens. Especially girls and weight is a tough one. We are already focussed on building her self esteem as much as we can, hoping for a solid foundation for when she is older. Knowing this is wishful thinking, because a lot can happen to a child. But I hope she can be young and free spirited as long as possible.
What advice do you wish you had ignored?
On the baby advice, I wish I wouldn't have been so rigid in thinking there was A/ONE right way to do things. That kept me in a straitjacket for too long. It was my sister who opened my eyes and brought in different perspectives; like: why don't you take powder milk along when you leave the house, because I was stressing about breast feeding. I never thought of that as an option. Sometimes you just get stuck in your head.
What advice do you wish to pass on?
Give yourself a break. In every possible way. It's all new. You are doing things with the best of intent. You are doing great! Plan a moment for yourself. Everybody talks about partner-time, but let's start with you-time first. It is really something, being a new mum. And a moment of relaxation, massage, or just a long night of sleep or nap in a nice quiet room can be great. Go get a facial, or take a long walk in the dunes. You will notice it will put things back into perspective.
Take time to organize and create a back up plan for when the shit hits the fan. The back up sitter and the back up "get them from school" people. Make things as clear as possible. That will keep a clear head and leave your child(ren) without questions and with regularity. So time together will immediately become quality time.
Include the dads, don't be the "I can do it all by myself, see how I can keep twelve balls in the air without collapsing-mummy". I does not hurt to ask for help. You don't fail. And other feel worthy because they can help. Be direct in your needs, especially if you are a single mom and create a network of support around you. People will help you if they know what exactly they can help you with.